I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
