Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm drive I can fine osifer
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
