If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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