He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
