This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
