Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize