If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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