You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
