Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
