I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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