It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
