you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
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I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
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Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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