well most of my day revolves around power hour
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
