Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
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she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
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After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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