gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Soap is not a condiment
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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