She went from zero to smokin in five shots
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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