Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
