do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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