PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
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Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
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National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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