He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
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