if i can run in heels then i can drive
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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