so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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