So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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