margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize