What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Found your dick twin last night
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
