Have you finally orgasmed yet?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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