Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
