Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
