Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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