In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
