what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
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