So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
