Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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