maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
