He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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