I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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