I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases