Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems