The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.