I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
