Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I don't deserve a penis
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
