coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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