That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Randomize