so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
