Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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