From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
