if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
