Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
