life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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