The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
