there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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