so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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