I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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