God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
