That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
